Over the years, I have been carefully observing that my listening skills are not up to mark and they need to be fine-tuned to understand more of my Self than the words of other persons.
The awareness goes to next level only if the help comes from a spiritually illumined person who is matured enough to give a sermon on human relations.
I don't find more authoritative than Jiddu Krishnamurti who left nothing unsaid about human life. He says that:
'' We listen with the various depths of our being, but our listening is always with a preconception or from a particular point of view ” He further stays that “ We do not listen simply; there is always the intervening screen of our own thoughts, conclusions, and prejudices. To listen there must be an inward quietness, a freedom from the strain of acquiring, a relaxed attention. This alert yet passive state is able to hear what is beyond the verbal conclusion. Words confuse; they are only the outward means of communication; but to commune beyond the noise of words, there must be in listening, an alert passivity. Those who love may listen; but it is extremely rare to find a listener. Most of us are after results, achieving goals; we are forever overcoming and conquering and so there is no listening. It is only in listening that one hears the song of the words."
When I read, re-read repeatedly the above lines some years ago, I felt ashamed of my listening skills. Krishnamurti's words ratify the fact that you must be in another dimension in life to simply listen the way it should be. I could vividly remember how I wildly beaten my elder child before fully listening to her version when she poured hot milk on her bare chest when she was hardly 4 years. I still repent for my ghastly act I committed in my 30s.
So, it is not bookish knowledge that bring serenity in our lives but the wisdom to understand the humans for which, we need to master the nuances of ''listening''.