ROAD TO SERENITY

 

Never talk about the faults of others, no matter how bad they may be.  Nothing is ever gained by that.  You never help one by talking about his faults; you do him an injury, and injure yourself as well.

                                                                          -  Swami Vivekananda

Most of us  indulge in gossip and  dwell at length on the faults of others,  forgetting  our  own.   But the wisdom masters say that this trait will  put you in deep trouble and rob your own inner serenity.

When you talk  ill of others, the toxic emotions are bound to destabilize your own emotional balance.  That's why you must concentrate  your energies more on your own conduct than onlookers.     

Some months back I wrote this wonderful quote of Dalai Lama in my journal which I come back and forth to remind myself  of the truth:

If someone remains in a peaceful and tranquil state of mind, external surroundings can cause them only a limited disturbance.quo

If you are in a situation  which you can't  tolerate, better to walk out  politely instead of silently enduring the ordeal.   Suppose if the situation doesn't permit you to leave, be prepared to endure with full acceptance.   You get more inner strength by reading this famous quote of American novelist and short story writer James Lane Allen:

Man is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions, but when he realizes that he is a creative power and that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being out of which circumstances grow, he then becomes the rightful master of himself.

NEW YEAR GOALS

The other day when I browsed the morning headlines in the newspaper, one piece of news caught my eye.    It suggested some mobile app to accomplish New Year Resolutions. I laughed myself the way technology is suggested to strengthen the inner resolve.

We are already having superior technology inside each of us which converts the 'bread into blood'. What we need is only to have full heart to achieve our goals.

I don't think you need a mobile app to achieve your goals, What I suggest is, invest some bucks in small whiteboard and hang it into your study/ living room and write your goals there with a deadline. See the board as frequently as possible during the day which would strengthen your resolve and auto-suggest your mind to work towards the goals.

I think this whiteboard is the most workable formula. Don't clutter that board with lengthy resolutions. Write each goal/resolution in two or three words with a timeline. Don't write more than 5 Resolutions. Why 'Five', because you have five fingers so that you can instantly remember them when you are out of board's sight. Seeing the white board daily would train your mind in accepting them for accomplishment.

Split each goal/resolution into workable actions with clear deadlines and when you achieve even a small part of that goal, announce to the world or your near and dear ones about your achievement so that their words of appreciation ignite you further in achieving your leftover goals.

Further, you take a snapshot of your goals written on the whiteboard with your mobile phone and review it frequently even during 'on-the-go.

Some months back, I opened a notebook called "Black Book' in which I elaborately wrote what are my strengths and weaknesses and what are my goals to be achieved. The following is a rundown of my Goals:

1) Physical Fitness Goals - Healthy life

2) Intellectual Goals - Utilize all my Inner Resources/ talents the Creator has endowed me

3) Children Career Goals - Make them worthy of society

4) Financial Goals - Wealth at a comfortable level

5) Relationship/ Family /Welfare Goals - Good Samaritan

Under each primary goal, there are sub-goals which must be diligently written in a notebook meant for your goals and you need to give ‘timeline’ for each sub-goal. Some action under all five categories need to be taken on daily basis and it should be reviewed daily/weekly/fortnightly.

ZEN WISDOM

 

Let your neighbors discover you before you make yourself known to them.

                                                                           - Zen wisdom on modesty

Generally there is a tendency in all of us to show to the world that we are great and unique and there is nothing wrong with it. But the problem with majority of folks is they want frequent validation from outside world to gauge their self-worth. A person who wants to grow spiritually must not cling to this trait.

Zen wisdom offers more such insights on life. In fact, it is a school of Mahayana Buddhism that was developed in China during the 6th century. It emphasizes the value of meditation and intuition to grow spiritually. It recommends that we, instead of mere ritual worship or study of scriptures must transcend to a level where our life exuberates with joy at every moment.

The word Zen, in fact, originated from Sanskrit root word dhyana which means meditation.

Do we really care ourselves to grow in life in terms of abilities and talents the Creator has endowed ? Many complain that they are riddled with so many problems in life which if we see in correct perspective, are not problems but opportunities.

Experience defines our quality life. If the experience is sore, we naturally switch to an action which gives joy. The experience is the lens through which we discriminate people, choices and situations. That lens could turn into a third eye and guide you if you keep it clean with the path shown by Wisdom Masters.

Success and Spirituality go hand in hand. Those who are successful are more spiritual because they know the impermanence of success and they profoundly believe in a Higher Power that dictates their destiny.

What is success ? Anthony Robbins, America's prominent personality development guru says that "success is the result of the good judgement; good judgement is the result of experience; and experience is often the result of bad judgement"

How you perceive the bad experience is all that matters. Why Buddha is often talked about? Because, he is the person who worked on his own mind before he shared that wisdom with the world. His words: better to win over yourself than to win a thousand battles' illustrate the point of how difficult it is to control the mind.

Is there any connection between game and spirituality. The answer is obviously ''yes''. Experts say that if there is any game that inculcates spirituality, it is Golf. Amy Alcott, an American professional golfer and golf course designer who won five championships quotes that "Golf is a spiritual game. It is like Zen. You have to let your mind take over.

We have very prominent golfers amongst them is Deepak Chopra, the famous Indian-American doctor and rock star of spirituality. He wrote a book "Golf for Enlightenment: The Seven Lessons for the Game of Life.'' which is one of the best sellers.

Modesty is the key to Zen way of living. If you give too many swings to happier moments, then you are bound to let down in moments of sorrow. Striking a perfect balance to dualities is where the wisdom lies and Buddha is a state of mind, which is a possibility field open to everyone!

BE COMPASSIONATE AND NON-JUDGEMENTAL

 

Indian wisdom tradition says that senses are outward bound and the more you indulge, the worst would be your condition. Hence, moderation is the key. Make it a habit to continuously judge yourself rather than others. This helps to shine your own inner life.

Make it a rule not to abuse anybody by impulse. Before such toxic emotion runs you, consciously pass it through a filter of your intellect. Observe your reaction before you react. This sounds easy but very difficult to act upon. But with constant practice, it becomes easy.

You must understand other person's emotional cues from the web of your own experiences and respond positively so that you could take your relationships to next level.

Noted Indian philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti in his book "Freedom from known' says that :

>  Relationship between human beings is based on the image-forming, defensive mechanism.

>  In our relationships each one of us builds an image about the other and these two images have relationship, not the human beings themselves.

> The actual relationship between two human beings or between many human beings completely ends when there is the formation of images.

> Relationship based on these images can obviously never bring peace in the relationship, because the images are fictitious and one can not live in an abstraction.

While talking on comparison mania, Krishnamurti says that :

> Why do you compare yourself with another? This comparison has been taught from childhood. In every school A is compared with B, and A destroys himself in order to be like B.

> Trying to become like somebody else, or like your ideal, is one of the main causes of contradiction, confusion and conflict.

Generally, we make snap judgements on roadside unknown people or people with whom we are envious or those with whom we don't have harmony or love and affection.

In fact to judge others is an evolutionary impulse to save ourselves from life threats. But, we the humans need to tackle this situation with what Dalai Lama's model of intimacy which is based on a willingness to open ourselves to many others, to family, friends, and even strangers, forming genuine and deep bonds based on our common humanity.

When you connect others with warmth, there is no question to think ill of him or her!